So I rejoined my church choir again...with much chagrin and a lot less talent on my part. When I walked in, after being dragged by friend into the sanctuary, I was asked what part I sing. Easy enough question, right? Apparently not for my voice, which doesn't know whether to be a soprano or an alto. And in this choir there is NO middle ground.
And as we say in the South, God bless their hearts, but most of the ladies are not the best of the best...but neither am I. Anywho, I switched over from soprano to alto to help out the "lone alto" and was basically badgered the entire time because I couldn't hear the notes over the "la's" humming the wrong notes....argh!
And I had to sing "Happy Birthday" for the choir director so he could hear my voice and how bad I am at performing under pressure and in front of a guy who is extremely talented...shaky voice anyone??
I still don't feel totally a part of my choir or my church really...even though I have attended there my entire life. My friend who has been attending there for about 5 years is more welcome than I am really...and I am not kidding. Example: Older lady of church welcoming my friend a couple of months ago: "(looks at him) We are so glad to have you here, [his name]....(sees me standing beside him)...."oh and you too."
I actually visited another church last Sunday with one of my friends who goes there and it was really good. The music was wonderful and the message was very inspired. Sadly, after church I was called by my friend from my church and he said that I humiliated my mom for not coming that morning. He told me that God was disappointed in me...I know he was joking, but seriously! Whenever he misses a Sunday, I don't call him and shame him for not coming, but every time I miss or am sick or something I get a call with his annoying voice behind it. This is infuriating to me.
Although, these situations will probably be included in a book I write someday...so let the humiliation continue!